I really enjoyed reading the chapter ‘Love’ in the book “Becoming Wise” by Krista Tippit. So many times society tells us that in order to discover love we have to find that one person that will complete who we are. This is such a toxic idea because it puts you at the center of attention and makes people think that they do not have to do anything and that it just appears. Like the phrase “love at first site”. Is love something so shallow that it is just based on appearances. This is what society has coined love to be something that is just tossed around and does not mean much. It has been watered down so much in the English language that we use it as a more intense word for like. When you say I like in Spanish or Me gusta it means the item pleases me. We do not do anything the item is the one doing the action for us. This is how society sees the word ‘love’. The word ‘love’ is an action. It is not just a feeling or something that pleases you, but something that is tangible and concrete. There is a Christian song by Jars of Clay that says, “they will know we are Christians by our love” another translation for this is that they will know we are Christians by our actions. There is also a common phrase that, “actions speaks louder than words”. People can say all they want, but if there is no action behind what they are saying no one will take them seriously.
Another point that I really enjoyed from this chapter was the concept of when people get married society says that your whole world revolves around each other. This makes people that are married rely so much on each other that they forget about all the other people that are supporting them. I feel like this model is very restrictive of what love really is. It literally traps love in a jar in two ways. First it narrows love to just romantic love and then it says that you can only love one person. It just makes love feel very limiting when it is exactly the opposite. I’m not saying that being in a romantic relationship is bad I’m just saying that if they are just focused on each other and not investing in other friendships it can be very isolation.
This chapter was also very validating for me because it strengthened the idea that you do not need to be in a relationship in order to have a loving fulfilling life. Society seems like it is always pushing and saying in order to find love you have to be in a relationship. I know this is not the case, but going against the tradition of society is usually not easy.
My last idea that I found interesting about this chapter was the idea that society thinks that hate and anger are stronger than love. The quote from the book is, “…we don’t have confidence in love. We have much more confidence in anger and hate. We believe anger is powerful. We believe hate is powerful. And we believe love is wimpy” (Becoming Wise, 2016, p. 121). Hate and anger may seem more powerful, but then why is love so much harder. When someone wrongs you the easiest response is to be angry at them and hate them. Although to love them is so much harder in the beginning it is also so much more freeing for you. When you hate someone that not only hurts the other person, but it also hurts you because you are caring around that weight. An example of this is the movie Ink. The main character John is burdened by his shame and anger. A woman comes along and shows him what love really looks like. John does terrible things to her, but she “choses to see [him] for what [he] was intended to be. Basically, the woman showed him love and John realized what a terrible mistake he was making. This depiction shows just how powerful love can be. My explanation isn’t really doing the movie justice because it is such a powerful and moving scene. The plot for the movie is very well crafted and I would highly recommend that you watch it.
Another movie that portrays how powerful love can be is A Wrinkle in Time (2003). Which is my favorite childhood movie. The main character Meg has to return to the dark planet Camazotz to save her brother from It, which is the evil brain that is controlling the planet. Mrs. What’s It tell Meg before she returns to Camazotz that she “has something that the darkness does not have and can never have” (2003). When Meg finds her brother she discovers that Mrs. What’s It was talking about was love. It is something that the darkness cannot comprehend. Even when Meg’s brother was putting her down and making her feel worthless she was able to see past what he was doing at the moment and see him as the friend that was always there for her when she needed him. Love is a choice that we have and when we chose it we can make the world a much better place.
